Intimacy

I really enjoyed reading the article by Sean E. Brotherson (2003) who states, “Marriage is the school of love, and it is certain that a committed, caring marriage relationship is absolutely the best environment to learn the intricacies of sexual expression and intimacy.  But it is also important to understand that it is okay, as Latter-day Saints, to ask such questions and to seek meaningful answers.”  When I got married, I had very little knowledge in the area of physical intimacy, or what to expect when I was married.  I did not have any talks with my parents on this subject.  Like Brotherson explained in this article, I was told to keep myself clean and pure, and wait until I was married, but then what?  I fell into the category of ignorance; I was totally unprepared for the next step.  Luckily, as husband and wife, we grew close to each other.  We learned through trial and error what it felt like to be intimate.  We slowly learned ways we could drop hints to each other.   Brotherson continues, “The sex instinct is not something which we need to fear or be ashamed of.  It is God-given and has a high and holy purpose….We want our young people to know that sex is not an unmentionable human misfortune, and certainly it should not be regarded as a sordid but necessary part of marriage.  There is no excuse for approaching this most intimate relationship in life without true knowledge of its meaning and its high purpose.”  This has great meaning to me, because as a couple we have learned together and treated each other with love and respect.  We took things slow and didn’t push each other when we were not ready.  This has taken time to complete our understanding and not something that happened instantly.

Brotherson (2003) continues, “We are counseled to return to the temple often after we have received our personal temple blessings. To give of ourselves in service to others and be reminded of the great and powerful meanings of the standards that we have committed ourselves to live.  Likewise, in our marital lives, a frequent return as a couple to the union of sexual intimacy makes it possible to give of ourselves in service to each other and be reminded of the commitment we have made to unity and fidelity and love to our marital companion.  What a powerful blessing this can be to a marriage relationship!”  I love the symbolism here with the body, a temple, intimacy and the promised blessing one receives when they live their life the very best they can.  This is the foundation upon which strong families are built when husband and wife come together as one.  The necessity of complete fidelity with both husband and wife is crucial.  When couples are able to have good communication it helps to break the ice and then they can discuss how they are feeling and maybe ways that they can strengthen or help one another.  Howard W. Hunter (1994) said, “Tenderness and respect-never selfishness-must be the guiding principles in the intimate relationship between husband and wife.”  I love this counsel from a prophet of God about the reminder of the way we should always treat our spouse.

References:

Brotherson, S.E. (2003) Fullfuilling the Sexual Stewardship in Marriage. Retrieved from: https://byui.instructure.com/courses/50274/pages/w11-study?module_item_id=4004838

Hunter, H. W. (1994) Being a Righteous Husband and Father. Ensign. 51.